Sunday, August 12, 2012

Brave...


I never thought of myself as brave

I’m just a regular kinda person

Well,
I’m not afraid of bugs, or dogs, or heights
Or blood, or flying, or speaking up in public
But I never saw myself as particularly brave

I wonder…
Would I drop everything and run
into a blazing building to save a child?
I’d like to think so, but if I had to be honest
I think I’m the type to freeze up and just stand there staring, horrified,
While others rush around helping and doing and saving

Would I hold onto my beliefs and affirm my trust in G-d
And rather be burned by the stake than denounce my faith?
I wish I could give a resounding YES…
But how could I know that for sure?


Would I be willing to donate a kidney
       to a complete stranger?
Would I have the courage to enter the gas chambers with my head held high,
       still believing in His goodness?
Would I make the split-second decision to run in front of a truck
       to save a little child?
Would I behave like the people on Flight 93
       if I found myself faced with a terrorist?
Would I act like my grandfather did
       as he ran from the Nazis?

...

I have never been tested in such big ways.


But

I’ve been told that I’m brave.
That facing my fears and doing what needs to be done
       is brave

That by taking up my tiny dagger against the huge and terrifying monster…
And not hiding from myself
And not lying to myself
And taking that leap into the abyss
And trusting that this fall is what needs to be done…

And believing that He knows what’s best for me
And loves me
And won’t let me die…

And putting all my energy and strength and faith and sweat and blood and tears
Into this task that seems so incredibly impossible…

And waking up every morning with the decision to keep doing this…

And still moving forward
With a smile
And a thin but unwavering song woven tightly around my heart
Even when life comes again to smack me in the face…




………That by doing all this………

I am being
         So
     Unbelievably
             Brave.



7 comments:

Ezzie said...

I've often thought that was more brave, actually.

The persistence needed to keep being constantly brave, to keep pushing through even as you're constantly smacked down... that's harder than a split-second decision which doesn't always require consideration and thought*. Those are more reactionary. To have to weigh and weigh and weigh, and still be able to keep pushing - that's bravery that's difficult to match.

* not to take away from the incredible bravery those require, which is incredible, and I question what I'd do as well. But part of me thinks the constant and especially recurring struggles are so difficult and draining, it's easier to give in to them at some point, even after long periods of success. To keep going on even then... that's true strength, true bravery.

Mystery Woman said...

I agree with Ezzie. The everyday bravery takes so much more strength.

But, having said that, I think I'm strong enough for the everyday bravery...but I'm not so sure I could ever do any of those big, brave acts. Not sure what that says...

corner point said...

Ezzie--

I think I agree with your opinion... And maybe I'm wrong, but I think we've had a discussion similar to this before...

(Is my blog still on your tracker thing? Wow! I think I'd have given up a long time ago...)

MW--

They say that when we're faced with something big like that, another part of us we didn't know existed takes over... So I don't think what you wrote "says" anything about you, besides for maybe that you have never been tested in those other, non-everyday ways.


Ezzie said...

It's quite possible we have... :)

(Yes, it is on my RSS. Why give up? Especially on a good thing/person! :)

Feel said...

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ”
― Mary Anne Radmacher
No matter how many times you fall, the fact that you keep getting up again and keep trying rather than giving up out of exhaustion makes you not only brave but, perhaps, a hero. My humble opinion! xoxo

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