Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Bliss

My whole being is on fire. The love courses through my veins, pulsing hot and thick, making my limbs tremble.

He sits, heavy in my lap, drowsy and weighted, his hair smelling of sweetness and standing out in puffy spikes like it does after each bath. He gives a contented sigh and melts in further, nuzzling his cheek against the soft of my sweatshirt and letting his eyes close.

There were hard days and long nights. A thousand dreams were born and died, a thousand tears traced letters down my face and into my arms. A million whispered, feverish prayers, a lifetime of yearning…

And now, this. This moment, this golden boy, this gift beyond all the fleeting dreams I ever had. I look into his face, trace the lines on his eyelids, feel the soft warmth of his sleeping breath. He is alive, warm and heavy, and my breath catches.

There will doubtless still be hard days and long nights. There might be times of whispered conversations with G-d and days of tears and longing. But right now, holding this living, breathing, wondrous gift, holding him tight and feeling his aliveness with every heartbeat…this is tasting a tiny bit of gan eden.

I am a mommy.

10 comments:

Ezzie said...

;')

Beautiful.

grinfish said...

yum. mazel tov :)

Staying Afloat said...

Ohhh...
Mazal Tov mazel tov. May you have so much nachas, and thanks for the inspiration.

Mystery Woman said...

:) Mazel tov.

Anonymous said...

So happy you finally felt inspired to post :-). Much nachas from your beautiful son. Give him a kiss from me until the next time I see him (and you!).

-G

Brochi said...

Touching! This gave me the chills. So beautifully expressed. And ditto to anon feeling happy that you finally felt inspired to post.

Feel said...

You told me it would be short... but sometimes the shortest things can have the most meaning, the most impact, if they are worded right. I think this says it all. And if your fingers were "tingling" after you wrote this... well, I think you might agree!

Welcome back!! I hope there's more coming!

xoxo

Tembow said...

Wow mazel tov

Erachet said...

Mazel tov! This news makes me so happy! Your post was so beautifully written. May you enjoy much nachas!

corner point said...

I know it's really late to be answering, but I wanted to thank everyone for reading and for responding.

And amen to all the brachos!